Poor, pathetic Analstar.
She who sees things that aren't there, she who sees things that would never happen, and she who didn't even play Crisis Core, She endlessly astonishes us with her many, many, many examples of stupidity.
Introductions are no longer necessary, wouldn't you agree?
Here she is privately informing her only friends, the Cetra as they call themselves, that they need to decide upon what all the lesser followers of the clerii religion need to think.
Poor, unfortunate Analstar and her website.
The website must change again, for the "cleris essays" on how Zack's 'manifestations' are not as romantic as Aerith's have been proven wrong by Square-Enix.
Not that this hasn't happened before. In fact, such 'damage control' happens every single time something FF7 related is released.
1. SEX releases something Cloti and debunks clerith.com, again
2. Lesser Cleriis realize the error of their ways and convert to Cloti
3. Anal and the Cetras panic over the loss on their private forums
4. They agree on a new set of 'cleris beliefs' that Anal came up with
5. They explain how "everything is still Cleris" in public essays on clerith.com
6. SEX releases something Cloti that debunks clerith.com, again
7. Lesser Cleriis realize the error of their ways and convert to Cloti
...and so the cycle repeats.
Let us witness it in motion together.
Pope Analstar loves to preach about grandiose clerith predictions, as seen in her prayer:
"FF7 has Clerith"
"FF7 ACC is Clerith" "
"Nomura will be Clerith again"
Despite all her praying, none of the above never happens.
It took Zack's back-to-back scene with Cloud in ACC to ruin any romantic notions of Aerith's scene for the lesser clerii. Angered by this turn of events, Pope Analstar ordered the Archbishops of pink to be ready to defend against Clotis who bring this up this fact.
And yet, nobody sane ever thought Aerith's scene was romantic to begin with.
This situation reminds us pencilnecks of the time when the Pope silently disappeared from public view after AC's release. She tucked tail because she was embarrassed by several things:
-her grandiose clerith AC predictions never happened
-the movie proved to be too Cloti for her to twist
-she knew she couldn't say anything to silence the converts
-she also had trouble keeping her own Cetra in line
After a year spent on arduous frame-by-frame processing of AC to disprove anything remotely Cloti, she triumphantly made her public return. She claimed she saw "so many clerith signs in the movie" upon her first viewing of it.
It was comforting to realize that seeing things in ~Clerith vision~ takes as much effort for us pencilnecks as it does her.
Speaking of Clerith vision, our next image reveals Anastar's selective memory about any character who isn't named Cloud or Aerith.
Clerith nonsense and hyperbole aside, Anastar believes some truly crazy shit. She believes AVALANCHE doesn't care about Aerith (although they constantly express such sentiments), only Cloud (who never expresses anything) does. She also believes Cloud didn't feel Sephiroth 'in his soul', that it was in fact Aerith. And when Aerith dies, Cloud wasn't speaking for himself and AVALANCHE - he was actually saying "Great, now how will Aerith and I ever get to shag?"
That whole "nakama" theme is all but lost upon Analstar. It is fitting, for she has none of her own.
But Analstar doesn't just believe crazy shit. Read on to find out how she actually sees it!
Anastar believes she saw Cloud moving towards Aerith in AC's final scene. Analstar also believes that only Cloud can see Aerith.
Check out the scene for yourself.
Replay: Aerith is with a bunch of kids who can see her. Everyone is looking at Cloud. Cloud looks at Aerith and Zack. Cloud goes nowhere. Everyone is still looking at Cloud.
Almost realizing her own stupidity, Analstar says that if Cloud had moved towards Aerith, his friends would have turned to see where he was going. But this doesn't stop her firm belief in Cloud having walked towards Aerith in that scene.
Predictably, Analstar refuses to mention Zack's presence throughout this whole scene. You know, that guy who is Aerith's one true love? That same guy who was back-to-back with Cloud? That same guy who appears in Cloud's eyes?
Analstar's attempts to erase Zack from existence have failed once again.
So Zack, keep on truckin' and spirit fuckin' in the canon.
Us pencilnecks salute you.