So, we intrepid pencilnecks here at Destiny Failed were looking at our vast collection of Yoshitaka Amano art, because his art is naturally the way to discover the pairings of Final Fantasies, since he only draws canon pairings, right? He only draws two people alone together when they're a couple, right?
But that's when we realized just how twisted it all was. Adultery, Bestiality, Incest, you name it. Seriously, just take a look.
Sephiroth and Aerith? Ooh, sorry Cloud. Looks like you're being cuckolded, and with your most hated enemy, too.
It's okay, you'll find love again. Or then again, maybe you already found it. Red, Shaggy, Quadrupedal Feline love.
So that's where the pups in the ending came from...
Of course, Final Fantasy Seven isn't the only example of this deviancy.
That's Lenne and Faris. They're sisters. Very, very close sisters. And we can thank Amano for letting us know.
Oh, so sorry, Locke. Looks like Celes wanted Edgar after all. I wonder why she never showed any sign of that in the game proper?
And you thought Squall and Rinoa were exclusive. Nope. He's getting some Selphie on the side.
But he's nowehere near as bad as Yuna.
She's shacking up with Seymour, but even worse...
She's getting all lovey dovey with brother! In case you forget, that's her cousin. I mean, just... ew.
Wierdest of all, though, is FFIV.
Sorry, Rosa. It looks like Cecil's just using you as a beard. Seem's that he's really in love with... Himself? From across time? How does that even work? Well, I guess if Cloud and Aerith can make it work even though she's dead, Cecil can make it work across time. Less wierd, but even more wrong, though, is this-
Palom and Porom. I mean hell. They're twins. And they're FIVE. That's just SICK, Square. How dare you show such things in your games. I mean, Brother and Yuna are one thing, and Lenne and Faris aren't much different, but THESE ARE CHILDREN. For SHAME.
So there you have it. Amano's art doesn't lie, and it turns out all of our heroes are adulterers, zoophiles, incestuous, cross temporally narcissistic, and worse. It turns my stomach.
Note for the stupid: THIS POST WAS A JOKE. IT WAS NOT SERIOUS.