Angelalex. The token male of the Clerii population, he feels he is a reliable expert on the mindset of the male half of what he calls the 'opposition', or in other words, male Clotis- in other words, any guy who doesn't think Cloud and Aerith were totally and permanently in love with each other and meet in flower fields for sweet loving. He even thinks he knows why men who dare to think that Cloud loves anyone other than Aerith think the way they do.
Don't believe us? Take a look at this.
Angelalex believes that all male FF7 fans are as perverted and soulless as himself. According to him, if you came to the conclusion that Cloud and Tifa hooked up, it's only because you think that Cloud likes Tifa for her breasts. And, logically, you assume that their family life together is nothing but endless nights of fornication.
Now, far be it from us to deny that SOME people think this about Cloud and Tifa's relationship, but from the way Alex is talking, you'd think every male in the world who didn't think Cloud ends up with Aerith was expecting Cloud to all but turn into a tentacle monster at the drop of a hat. We at Destiny Failed think that view of men is, to be frank, just a bit offensive to the male gender as a whole.
We also think it's hilarious that Alex of all people is saying this, given his own sexual fixation. For starters, take a look at his degrading avatar of Aerith, where her larger-than-Lulu breasts are pouring out of her teenier-than-Rikku's bikini.
No matter how you slice it, that's a sex object in that picture. So whilst Angelalex accuses other men of thinking of nothing but sex, he dons an avatar depicting a sex object. But it doesn't end there. He's also approved of Cloud having a threesome with Aerith and Tifa.
"Ya know, as a guy, the Cloud in a 3some with both girls idea rather appeals to me too. If I find common ground with CloTis, it'll usually be over the 'just have a 3some already' set."
He also believes that Cloud went to the church (of all places) to have an affair with Aerith (of all people). Sounds bizarre, but he said it himself. Just look!
The above theory of his wasn't just some random wishful thinking. He actually put a lot of thought into it! So much so that he wrote a whole fanfic about Cloud having sex with Aerith's ghost. We've painstakingly taken the time to provide this fanfic for you, which you can find below. We at Destiny Failed include this as a matter of completeness, but we suggest that the pregnant or weak of stomach not click the image below, for their safety, or the safety of their unborn children.
Yeah, we wish we could un-read that too.
So, decide for yourself. Who's really the sex obsessed one here? Is it these unnamed male clotis, or is it the man who accuses them of being sex focused, wears a cheesecake picture of Aerith as his avatar, and wrote porn of her? Well, you decide.
Extra! Extra! Stop the presses!
Intrepid pencilnecks, deep undercover, have managed to snag some rare live footage of angelalex in his daily life. As a Destiny Failed exclusive, it is now time for you all to... meet ANGELALEX!